


all the roads that we take

by zantetsvkens



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Sort Of, vague references to heaven's feel and other fate routes/games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zantetsvkens/pseuds/zantetsvkens
Summary: The halls of Chaldea were strangely silent and Cu Chulainn wondered, not for the first time, what would have happened if things had gone differently back then.for fate week day 1 — memory
Relationships: Cú Chulainn | Lancer & Heroic Spirit EMIYA | Archer
Kudos: 10
Collections: Fate Week 2021 Fic Collection





	all the roads that we take

**Author's Note:**

> _jazz hands_ i dont know what a plot is nor do i know what canon is because it's been over a year since i was active or watched/read anything fate related. if you see something not quite canon then it's canon now because i said so

Whenever there was a lull of activity within Chaldea, Cu Chulainn often found himself thinking about his life and all the other lives that he had had to live as a Heroic Spirit. 

It wasn’t that he was upset about his life, his death (though he had every right to be after what had happened last time), or what he had managed to accomplish in the short amount of time that he had while he was still alive. He wasn’t being remorseful, for there was nothing that he had to be guilty for or to feel sad over, and it wasn’t like he was hoping that he could have done more while he still could have because he had already accepted that what’s done is done, but he wasn’t exactly feeling quite content about it either.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he was just being thoughtful, pensive. He had lived a good—albeit short—life, and his status as a Heroic Spirit more or less ensured that he could continue fighting for many more years to come.

It’s just that when Cu Chulainn thinks about it, when he starts to get into the what-ifs and the  _ if this didn’t happen _ , what would have changed? What would have been different?

He thinks back to the last Holy Grail War he had been in, thinks back to how much of an absolute clusterfuck it had turned out to be with all the conspiracies and the lies and schemes that were built on top of even more schemes. 

He thinks about the Archer in Red, thinks about how if he had taken a different route and hadn’t decided to do what he did, if he didn’t decide to betray his master—and then take it one step further and betray Caster and her master after that first betrayal—to achieve his goals, would things have been different?

Without a question it would have been, but what exactly would have changed?

Would they have formed an alliance? Would they have stayed enemies? Rivals? Would they have been the last two servants to survive, meant to fight to the death to see who could obtain the grail?

Perhaps Cu Chulainn would have passed quietly, valiantly, in the middle of a battle against a different servant. Or maybe he wouldn’t have even made it that far to begin with, having been killed or turned into something akin to his Alter form after being attacked by an unknown entity.

Or maybe, if things hadn’t been as they were, if they didn’t have to fight for the grail and constantly live in that place that balanced precariously between life and death, they would have been friends. 

It was a nice thought, all things considered. Being friends with that Archer in Red (though it would have brought along plenty of headaches, Cu Chulainn was sure of it), would also have been rather fitting because despite everything that had happened back then, Cu Chulainn knew that Archer was a decent man.

In the brief glimpses he had caught of Archer—the  _ real  _ Archer that had been kept carefully hidden beneath all of the deceit and the half-truths and that mask of indifference that would always, without fail, drive Cu Chulainn up the wall—Archer was a selfless man to the point that it was almost infuriating.

Even now, whenever they were placed on the same team (much to their admittedly half-hearted protests) to aid their master in singularities, Archer never quite gave up on that idiotic, self-sacrificing part of himself. 

It was a rather admirable quality about him, he had to admit. That sort of dedication was worth praise no matter how stupid Cu Chulainn thought Archer’s ideals were. But even then, despite all these good qualities about him, Archer being a decent man didn’t automatically mean that he was a good man.

(But who was he to say anything when Cu Chulainn knew that he himself wasn’t a good man either?)

In any case, Cu Chulainn knew that it was no use thinking about it. Nothing could change the past, and there really was no reason to wonder about what could have been or what might have happened. 

No matter what changes might have occurred back then, Cu Chulainn truly, firmly believed that the outcome in the end would still be the same. His life back then, and his life during that grail war, all of those experiences would have eventually led him here to Chaldea and of that he was certain.

And it did.

It brought him to a master that he could finally, for once, put his trust and belief in. It gave him the chance to meet with all sorts of servants and get to know and befriend them no matter how horrible of a history they may have had with one another, and it gave him the chance to meet with that Archer in Red again and ultimately create a friendship with him that would hopefully transcend lifetimes.

Cu Chulainn was grateful. How could he not be when his life as it was now was anything but fulfilling?

Sure his life back then may have been an absolute disaster and a half, but if it meant that living through those lives would lead him here to Chaldea, then Cu Chulainn wouldn’t mind living through them all over again if it meant that he could return to this place that he now called home.

**Author's Note:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/zantetsvkens) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/zantetsvkens) if you wanna come chat with me!


End file.
